It's always been you
by brittbo212
Summary: "One makes sacrifices for the ones they love." One of the last of her kind, a healer from Sarmatia. Anna is taken from her home, her body and her gift sold from Roman to Roman. She falls in love with a knight only to be sent back to Rome, once more.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first attempt at fanfiction so I apologize for any newbie mistakes. Please, let me know what I can improve on! I really appreciate your constructive criticism, thoughts, or feelings. Oh, and I don't own anything you recognize! Thanks for reading!**

In the silence of the abandoned part of Hadrian's wall Anna can hear her own thoughts and feel the long lost longings of her heart. Meandering around the city, visiting this place she used to call home she is overwhelmed by the memories and feelings she has repressed for so long. Memories full of passion, dreams of the future, and beautiful nights. She kicks her shoes off and dips her feet into the frigid water of the fountain. It's said that the fountain has healing powers. She's swam in it many times, hoping with all that was within her that it would take her healing powers away. Always to no avail. She dreamed of freedom, from her curse and from Rome. She slips out of her cape and down to her bodice slipping slowly and timidly into the frigid water. She gasps losing her breath as the icy water bites at her skin. Putting what little faith she still has in a childhood fairytale she closes her eyes and lets the water engulf her, casting her cares and fears aside. Letting the water cleanse her. She wills her body to stop shaking hoping to numb herself from the cold and the memories._ The sounds of summer fill her ears as the sun dances across her exposed skin. Anna scoots closer to Dagonet, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arm across his chest. He gently runs his fingers down her arm tracing the scars from her shoulder to her wrist. All of which she has chosen to carry, reminders of her love for the people she helps. Anna sits up off the bed wrapping herself in the sheet. He wraps his hand around her the back of her neck pulling her closer again. "So soon?" he almost growls kissing her face, and neck. "Yes. I'm so late already. I have to go. Vanora is going to murder me." She laughs kissing him between each word as she makes her way over him and off the bed. He grabs ahold of her sheet pulling her back in. She laughs into his mouth. "I really have to go." She pulls her sheet free and kisses him once more before exiting the room. _One memory fading into another as she sharply exhales the air out of her lungs allowing herself to sink below the surface. _ "Why?" The anger and hurt in his voice resonating in Anna's ears and she instinctively crosses her arms across her chest. The unspoken questions hanging in the silence. He grabs her shoulders, almost shaking her. "Why?" Anna exhales sharply pulling away from him. "Because there is no reason for me to stay here." She can't even look at him before she leaves, for Rome and her new master, Germanius. _

"What are you doing?" Anna gasps as Dagonet pulls her out of the water, cradling her to his chest. Her teeth chattering but she wills her mouth shut, struggling out of his arms and onto the ledge of the fountain. The extra height putting her at his eye-level. She crosses her arms in front of her protectively looking down at her feet. The silence is suffocating. She can feel his eyes on her but she can't look at him. Dagonet takes his overcoat off and gently wraps it around her. "I don't deserve your kindness…" She shrugs it off handing it back to him as he gently clasps her hand, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles, willing her to look at him. Her breathe catches in her throat as all of her guilt comes flooding back to her in waves. Anna pulls her hands away, gathers her things and stalks away clutching her cape tightly around her.

Anna crawls into her bed still dripping wet, her dreams tormented with images of Dagonet.

"Anna, I'm sorry, Anna" Horton gently shakes her. "The bishop wishes for you to join him. He sent this for you." Horton avoids her eyes as he lays the dress next to her on the bed. Her breathing becoming slightly erratic and her heart races. Anna covers her face and focuses on her breathe trying to regain control of herself. Horton awkwardly paces around the room, unsure if to comfort her or let her work it out on her own. He settles for the later taking a seat in the chair in front of her fireplace. Anna strips down to her bodice as Horton remains facing the glowing embers of the fire. Slipping into the expensive fabric makes her skin crawl. "Do you mind?" She turns away from him waiting for him to lace up the back of her dress. "Is anyone awake?" The words catch in her throat.

"Everyone has been asleep for hours." He finishes lacing and tying her dress. "No one will see you." Anna nods, quietly following him out, down the hall and to the unused wing of the castle. Horton stops as one of the guard firmly grabs onto Anna's arm and leads her into the Bishop. He tosses her onto the floor in front of the Bishop before dismissing himself.

"You said this wouldn't happen here." He laughs mockingly, yanking her up by her hair. She clamps her mouth shut as the pain blazes through her scalp and neck. He strokes her face. His hands dance along the neckline of her dress. "Arthur granted me my freedom." He lets go of her hair dropping her to the floor before pulling her up by her neck. She gasps struggling for air trying to pull out of his grip.

"If you considered yourself a free women why did you come?" He runs his fingers through her hair pulling her body against his. "You couldn't stay away could you? Even in the home of the man you once loved. "

"I am a free women!" Anna whispers roughly before jerking out of his grasp. "I have never been yours. I will never be yours!" The bishop laughs coldly, roughly pulling her into him kissing her neck.

"You have always been mine. We'll simply have to break this new spirit of yours." She roughly pushes him away "This spirit of yours won't matter, your friends won't make it past the saxon's?"

"Saxons? You were sent to grant them there freedom!" He grabs her pulling her roughly towards him " I've missed your spirit." He kisses her forcefully until she manages to push him away her mind reeling.

"Let me go with them." She throws herself at his feet, clasping his hand. "Please."

"I am the one that requires your loyalty." He grabs Anna's hair pulling her roughly to him. "Your spirit will die on this God forsaken island just like your knights." Anna desperately clasps at the Bishop's arms.

"Bishop, please. Let me go with them." Her words are whispered and frantic. He clasps her neck running his finger along her jawline.

"Once I'm done with you. You will be sent back to Rome to await my return." He throws her onto the bed. Anna using the momentum clumsily crawls away. Her world in a haze.

"Bishop. If Arthur dies it will be a great loss for Rome. Please let me go and ensure his safety. Let me ensure his safe return to you as a sign of my undying loyalty to you and to Rome."

"Submit to me. Your body. Your will. Your life." Anna's eyes fall to the bed. She slowly crawls onto it.

"Let me go with Arthur and you will have me. All of me."

Anna quickly covers her torn dress and bruised body with her cape and quietly makes her way back to her room. She has done this many time but Dagonet was always far away, just a distant memory. She pauses grabbing her chest as the guilt washes over her. She would go on this mission with them and then she would slink back to Rome like the coward she was. Her breath catching in her throat as she wills her tears back.

"You do this of your free will." His voice makes her cringe. She should have known. She quickens her pace and wraps her cape around her tighter, unable to look at him. He easily matches her pace stopping in front of her.

"Not now Tristan." Anna tries to make her way around him as she stares ashamed at her feet. The guilt once again swelling in her chest.

"You're not a slave." She stops abruptly whipping around to face him pulling the shoulder of her dress down revealing the letter G burnt into her skin.

"Yes. I am." She searches his face letting her words set in. This is the first time she has said it out loud. Tristan's expression never changes as he brushes his fingers against it before pulling the shoulder of her dress back over it. He tips her chin so she is looking up at him. "Say the words and he will never touch you again." Anna smiles sadly at him shaking her head. He was always too protective of her and it had gotten him in trouble before.

"I will never leave Rome." She wraps her arms around him. They stand like this for several seconds before he wraps his arms around her placing one around her waist and one on the back of her head. "Someone needs to make it back home." She buries her face into his chest, feeling the tears she quickly pulls away covering herself again and makes her way back to her room.


	2. Chapter 2

Anna leaves with the knights the next morning. Horton is sent to make sure she remained loyal, to Rome and to Germanius. They travel until well into the night before making camp. Anna drops her bags and takes care of Melyn brushing her down and Melyn snorts contently as Anna affectionately rubs her nose whispering unheard words.

"You enjoy your horses company more than ours?" question's Gawain motioning toward the fire the knights have already begun making themselves comfortable around.

"She's a good listener." smiles Anna leading Melyn to the rest of the horses. She pulls her thicker cloak out of her pack and makes her way back to the fire. Gawain plops down next to her and passes her the ale. She laughs quietly only half listening to conversation around her. The crackle of the fire taking her far away. Anna's hands tremble as she sits in the almost empty healing room. She had been left behind again, unused and worthless. They fear her, looking at her as if she was plagued. No one touched her or let her help them, unseen walls everywhere. She nervously wrings her hands as the sound of horses fill the air. The men trudge in carrying a badly wounded Bors. Anna quietly steps back allowing the men of medicine to decide if she is needed or not. Arthur enters slowly carrying himself as a man with the world on his shoulders.

"May I help you Arthur." Anna asks uncertainly making her way towards him. She reaches out her hand to him. He sizes her up before taking it. She can feel heat tingling in her hand before it shoots up her arm and into her chest. Her eyes glaze over slightly as the pain passes through her. She exhales quietly eyeing him, his body relaxes, looking less worn down. Satisfied with her work she lets go of his hand and makes her way back to Bors.

"I don't want the help of that witch!" His breathing is irregular and rushed. He clasps at the healer's and his brothers as they pin him down and begin to cover the wounds. Dagonet weakly attempts to hold Bors down. Arthur pulls him back, taking his place. Thats when Anna notices the large blood stain on the front of his shirt.

"Sir Dagonet? May I?" he smiles softly at the term sir.

"It's not necessary."

"It's what I'm here for. It's my purpose." She smiles resting her hand on his arm. The warmth and pain already registering in her hand. She wiggles her fingers slightly as the pain shoots up her arm and settles in her stomach. She can feel the scar setting into her skin. Dagonet lifts his shirt, revealing his wound free stomach. Anna squeezes his arm reassuringly.

"Show me. How does it work?"

"How it works does not matter as long as you and your brothers are well." Dagonet grabs her arm as she turns to leave.

"Show me your not a witch." Anna slowly unbuttons the bottom of her top, pulling it and her undershirt up just enough to reveal the scar on her stomach.

"Anna, Bors has passed out. He is ready for you." She lets her shirt fall, covering her scars whispering words she was taught as a child. Words of strength, light, and hope. She would save Bors even though he despised her.

Anna, I need to speak with you a moment." Arthur's words pulling her out of her memories.

"Are you hurt Arthur?"

"No, The Bishop and I spoke this morning. He informed me that you were returning to Rome with him once we return.

"Yes. I am."

"Why?"

"One makes sacrifices for the ones they love." Arthur stares at her intensely before nodding for her to go. Anna smiles sheepishly before making her way back to her sleeping gear she curls up under her cape attempting to stay as dry as possible falling into a restless, tormented sleep. She wakes up slightly at the sound of her name. It was barely a whisper. Pulling the covers off of her head she turns over facing Doganet. His usually solemn face is contorted as if he is in pain.

"Dagonet?" She gently shakes his shoulders. "Dagonet, wake up." He jolts awake quickly grabbing her hand and just as quickly lets it go rubbing his face. "You said my name." Dagonet looks at her silently taking her in. Her dark hair is plastered to her face her dark eyes betraying the false courage she is exuding. She pulls her caped tighter around her as she scoots closer to him. "Dags?"

He stares at her for long moment studying her face. "Don't go back to Rome."

"I don't have a choice."

"You always have a choice."

"I don't." she begins to speak quickly fearing if she doesn't she wont get it out. "I don't gain my freedom after so many years of service. No matter how many people I have saved. No matter how many enemies I kill. My life" He holds up his hand.

"Anna, you have to stop running. Stop sacrificing."

"I'm not" They are only a few inches from each other.

"Anna, if you want to go back to Rome. Then go back to Rome. If you want to be with me. Then be with me. If you want me to leave you simply utter the words."

"It's not that simple." She shifts nervously under his stare.

"It is."

"He doesn't share"

"Why?" Anna's' breath catches in her throat.

"Because I choose you." Dagonet lets the words sink in before he leans into her just enough so his lips touch hers. "It's always been you." Anna kisses him back her lips desperate to taste his again. Her hands move to the back of his neck pulling him closer. Her guilt finally overcoming her she falls into his chest clutching him tightly. He runs his fingers through her hair whispering unheard comforts.


End file.
